I Can Kill You With My Brain

Prince, the artist formerly relevant, says the internet is dead. He’s quoted saying, “Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

To feed the idiot pony, his new album is named 20TEN.

He also has songs called 1999 and 7, which both have lyrics loaded with numbers. So, let’s do the math (pun) on this.

Filling your head with numbers is not good for you. Prince fills our head with numbers. Hence, Prince is not good for you. You won’t buy Prince’s new album if you know what’s good for you, which we now know thanks to Prince.

I recently watched “Observe and Report”, the other mall cop movie that came out last year, this one starring Seth Rogen.  I had heard bad things about the movie, but I enjoy goofy comedy and I like Seth Rogen.  With low expectations, I thought I would enjoy the movie.  Not quite, but kind of.

Most of the bad things I had heard about the movie centered on it’s ending and how dark and out of place it is.  Seth Rogen and the writer/director were quick to defend the movie, stating that the ending makes more sense if people had realized that “Observe and Report” is a dark comedy and not a silly comedy like Rogen’s other films.  After now having seen the movie, I can’t say that I agree with them.  “Observe and Report” is a silly comedy that has a lead character that should be in a dark comedy.

Honestly, Seth Rogen’s character is straight out of a dark comedy.  He’s tortured and tragic, barely coping with bi-polar disorder, an alcoholic mother, and a father that left before he was born.  Yes, he occasionally does something silly, reminiscent of the characters in his other movies, but in the end he is playing a deeply troubled and struggling individual.

Where everything falls apart is the characters around Seth Rogen.  They are all crazy silly just like the supporting cast in all of his other movies.  The other security guards that he manages are all incompetent fools.  The woman he likes is a stereotypical, airhead blonde.  The real cops are always pulling pranks on him.  The mall patrons are nutty.  There’s an over-the-top homosexual character.  His mother, while very alcoholic, is a very comedic alcoholic.  The greatly tragic character that Seth Rogen is playing is almost completely lost and buried beneath a supporting cast that is straight out of “Knocked Up” or “Superbad”.

I think that is why the shocking, dark ending is so shocking.  It’s a dark comedy that is not dark at all.  When it finally takes on that dark tone, it’s out of place.  And then it doesn’t even stay in that dark place.  In a matter of minutes, the supporting cast shows up, acts wacky, and the moment is lost.  I can see how this uncomfortable ending, combined with a Seth Rogen comedy that isn’t nearly as funny as other Seth Rogen comedies, had most viewers disappointed.

Sadly, I think the writer had a great concept in his mind when he started writing it.  Seth’s character is complex and tragic and would have made a much better story if it wasn’t for all the zany antics going on around him.  I hope the suits in Hollywood give him another chance to write and direct a movie.  I think he could put together a fine goofball comedy or dark comedy, just not a fine goofball, dark comedy.

I’m a fan of the now defunct band, Guided By Voices. I have all of their legitimate releases as well as a concert or two that I found online. While I used to listen to the band at least a little bit every day, I haven’t listened to them much at all in the last year or so. I’ll blame that on The Decemberists. Anyway, I came up with this brilliant idea a few weeks ago. The plan is to put my iPod on shuffle and listen to my entire catalog of Guided By Voices music until I’m all the way through it.

After a few days I was feeling pretty good about my progress, despite not having too many opportunities to listen to my iPod. I looked down at my iPod and it said I had listened to 78 GBV songs. That made me feel even better about my progress. I know that Bob Pollard, the lead and brain-child of GBV, is a very prolific songwriter, but 78 songs is still several albums worth of material. I had to have put a sizeable dent in the catalog, right? After the split-second that it took for all of this to flash in my mind, I read the rest of the line and realized just how many GBV songs I have.

684. Yes, there are 684 Guided By Voices songs on my iPod. There are some duplicates, but that’s probably only about 100 of those songs, and I still “have” to listen to them in order to actually listen to my entire catalog. Doing the math, that leaves almost 600 original GBV songs. Bob Pollard certainly IS prolific. But I really should have known this prior to starting this endeavor, as I have both “Suitcase 1″ and “Suitcase 2″, two box sets that Bob released that each include 100 previously unreleased songs. So, that’s 200 original songs that weren’t even officially released until the box sets. The amount (and quality) of his output is amazing.

At this moment I’m on song 390. I’m making progress through the catalog, but it’s slow going. I can’t listen to anything else with my iPod because then I’ll lose my place in the shuffle and I’d have to start over. This kind of stinks, as I could really stand to listen to some Lady GaGa or The Decemberists right about now. I’ve taken to filling my non-GBV wants by listening to last.fm on my Xbox 360 when at home or to the actual radio when I’m in the car. Unfortunately, these are times that I normally would be listening to my iPod, which means these are times when I could be putting a dent in my sizeable GBV task.

It’s a good thing I like GBV.